


A Physician's ABCs

by Sarcasticles



Category: One Piece
Genre: ABC fic, Doctors Doing Doctor Stuff, Drabble Series, Gen, Nakamaship, Vignettes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-11-21 10:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 4,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11355480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcasticles/pseuds/Sarcasticles
Summary: Chopper can use a lot of words describe the Straw Hat Pirates that aren't part of the average vocabulary. Twenty six drabble-things involving interaction between the doctor and his crew.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aphagia: The disturbance between the formation and comprehension of language

"D'wah?"

Chopper paused his after-battle checkup and looked at Usopp worriedly. It wasn't like the sharpshooter to make such strange noises and it was possible that last hit on the head had affected him more than he let on. Usopp certainly appeared confused, and Chopper felt the need to repeat himself in case he hadn't heard the first time.

"I said that Zoro told me 'That was really brave of you back there. Good job'."

It was quite some time before Usopp could say anything comprehensible, but his goofy grin and the faraway look in his eye made the message perfectly clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since chapters are so short expect daily updates. The idea for this came when I got the random idea of Brook receiving milk intraosseously, and, yes, I know that I am twisting these definitions outside of their intended meanings, but it's more fun this way


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bile: A bitter, greenish-brown alkaline fluid that aids digestion

Nami was heaving her guts out. It was an unbecoming, if familiar sight over the past two days, for whatever bug she had caught was remarkably resistant to treatment. Chopper was able to manage the rest of her symptoms easily enough, and at this point there was little he could to do except hold back her hair and try not to get anything splattered on him. 

The life of a doctor was not as marvelous as it was made out to be.

"I think I'm dying," Nami rasped.

"You've got the stomach flu. You might be a little dehydrated, but you're not dying," Chopper assured her.

"It feels like I'm dying," Nami said, and before he could argue her head was back in the toilet.

"Is my Nami-dearest going to be alright?" Sanji called from the doorway, having already been denied entry earlier in the evening. "Does she need anything? Broth, toast, perhaps?"

"Some clear fluids would be great, but her stomach needs to settle first." Chopper replied.

"Roger that. Also, Usopp says to say last Robin checked we're still on course, and that Franky's going to take your watch tonight. And Shitty Mosshead's keeping Luffy occupied so he won't bug you."

"Okay," Nami said weakly.

The soft sound of a violin filtered through the bathroom, and instantly some of the strain on Nami's face eased.

"Whatever did I do to deserve friends like you?" she whispered.

Once again, her dry-heaves interrupted any answer Chopper might have given.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Circadian Rhythm: A diverse, yet predictable cycle of change in physiologic factors over a twenty-four hour time period. The body's 'biologic clock'

His watch was over, and Chopper was exhausted. A thin crescent moon offered little light as he stumbled to the galley for a glass of milk before bed. He made it to the refrigerator before his brain caught up with his nose and he registered the understated floral scent coming from the table.

Chopper rubbed his hooves over his blurry eyes. "You're still awake?" he asked the newest Straw Hat through a yawn.

Nico Robin looked up from her coffee, her eyes flashing with an emotion that he couldn't quite place before her face settled into its normal unreadable mask.

"I often stay up late, Doctor," she said quietly.

"You mean you don't sleep well?"

"No."

When she didn't elaborate, Chopper scrounged for Sanji's emergency key and unlocked the fridge. "I could give you something to help," he offered.

"That won't be necessary, Doctor. It doesn't bother me much, and, well…" Robin hesitated for a moment, "It's been this way for a long time. There's no need to worry on my behalf."

Chopper wanted to argue that it was his _job_ to worry, but something in her voice made him stop. Besides, it was two o'clock in the morning, and he'd be hard pressed to make her a sleeping draught tonight. He drank his milk and put the glass in the sink before going over to give her a quick hug.

"'Kay. G'night, Robin." With another jaw-popping yawn, Chopper shuffled back to bed.

It was only because of his enhanced hearing that he heard Robin whisper, "Good night, Doctor," when she thought he was out of earshot.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dermatome: The area of skin enervated by a single spinal root

"So…you're a cyborg?"

"The most super cyborg you'll ever meet!"

Chopper, who had never met one before, decided to take Franky's word for it as he assessed the shipwright for the first time. Tenderly he began prodding on the strange artificial flesh. It had an almost rubbery texture, reminding the doctor of Luffy.

"Yow!" Franky exclaimed as one leg kicked out spastically. "Watch what you're doin', bro! I had to reconnect most of my nerves, ya know!"

Chipper looked up in horror, but Franky had a roguish grin on his face that indicated that, more than anything, he was proud of his ingenuity.

Well, as long as it didn't bother him Chopper saw no reason not to satisfy his own clinical curiosity. Making sure a pad of paper  was in close reach for note taking, Chopper poked the same spot again to see if he could replicate the results.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erythrocyte: A red blood cell

How was Zoro even alive?

It was one of the questions that kept Chopper up at night. Because, seriously, he shouldn't be. Say what you want about Mihawk being the strongest, most precise swordsman in the world, the wound he gave Zoro should have killed him. The nasty scar across his chest was proof. There had been no doctor, for goodness sake! The poorly stitched together muscle should have torn apart; Zoro should have bled to death before infection even had a chance to set in.

But it hadn't, and Zoro lived.

Chopper wasn't quite sure Zoro was totally human. Had he not seen the swordsman jump into the ocean several times the reindeer would have automatically assumed he had eaten some sort of Devil Fruit that allowed him to regenerate copious amounts of blood, because, really, there was no other explanation.

The fact that he could bounce back from anything was awesome, in the old-fashioned sense that Chopper was struck dumb after every major battle. People simply did not have that much blood to lose. What you could bench press meant little when your abdominal cavity had been used as a pin cushion. You couldn't survive the Grand Line on willpower alone.

That was, unless your name was Roronoa Zoro.

Maybe someday, Chopper thought in a quiet, insecure voice that would only got stronger the longer he stayed with the Straw Hat Pirates, he could become a man like that.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flight of Ideas: The continuous flow of rapid speech that jumps from one topic to another

  
"Chopper, you and Luffy go look for something edible," Nami said, shading her eyes towards the new island were the Straw Hats were docked.

"We get to go exploring?" Luffy said, nearly bursting with excitement.

"Yes, now you and Chopper get going! There's only a few hours of daylight left."

"Alright, let's go! Do you think there are any big monsters?"

"I hope not," Chopper said.

"I do. We haven't fought anything strong in a long time, and it's boring, plus the big ones always taste better. Ooh, do you think Sanji can make that one thing that tasted really good, with the stuff that was kind of spicy, but not really?"

Chopper shrugged and hurried the ladder. He was excited, too. New places were always fun, especially with Luffy around. With a grin, the Straw Hat's captain shot off towards the island, hardly waiting for him to catch up.

"Come on! We don't know what kind of awesome stuff we're going to find!"

The pair spent the rest of the day on the island, only making their way back to the ship as the sun was sinking below the horizon. Luffy gestured wildly as the two returned to the ship, coming to the end of a rather long-winded and meandering story as they climbed up the ladder. 

"…And the big beetle ended up winning, because I accidently got the other one stuck in my nose."

Chopper giggled, and then stopped short when he saw Nami's expression.

"Where have you been?!" she shrieked. "It's nearly dark; we've been worried sick about you guys! And your _clothes_! What happened?" 

"Shishishi! Me 'n Chopper got stuck in a sink hole, and then there was a cave with glowy caterpillars. Nothing to fight, but the caterpillars did bite if you tried to poke them with a stick." With a wide smile, Luffy looked at the sunset. "It was a fun adventure, but now I'm hungry. Sanji, _MEAT_!"

Nami gave an exasperated sigh as Luffy ran towards the cook. "Has he been like this all day?"

"Yep," Chopper said happily. "Just like always."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geriatric: Pertaining to the elderly or the aging process

Chopper wondered if he would ever meet a normal old person. His only real experience with the elderly were Dr. Hiliruk, Dr. Kureha, and - now that they had left Thriller Bark - Brook.

The reindeer was pretty sure he would get hit for calling any one of those people old.

The musician was dancing in circles along the deck of the Sunny while singing a rather bawdy sea shanty and generally making his presence known. He was joined by Usopp and Luffy, while from the sidelines Sanji sang along to Franky's accompaniment in his soft crooner's voice. Nami had a barely-suppressed grin on her face while she and Zoro took a drink at the end of each verse. Even Robin could be seen tapping her toes while she read.

Briefly Chopper considered writing Dr. Kureha about his newest patient. He didn't really know what he would tell her, other than, yeah, he was taking care of a walking, talking skeleton-musician who might have gone a little crazy.

There was something to be said about the nature of the Straw Hat Pirates when there was no question as to whether or not Brook would fit in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hypochondriac: A person who is abnormally anxious about their health

"I really can't go on that island."

"Oh, come on," Nami said, her patience quickly wearing thin. "It'll be great!"

"We're wasting daylight standing here," Sanji added irritability. "Either you're coming along or you're staying with Chopper to watch the ship."

"No, guys, you don't understand." Usopp put a hand to his chest as he began to hyperventilate. "Did you not hear all the crazy dangerous stuff is on there?! I'll _die_!"

Zoro grabbed him by the back of his shirt and slung him across his shoulder. "We're pirates, idiot. It's stupid to worry about stuff like that when we could die any time. Now, we're going. Luffy said so."

Tears of despair rolled down Usopp's face and he waved melodramatically to the ship's mast. "Goodbye, cruel world! If I don't return, know that the Great Captain Uso— _Eek_!" Usopp was cut off as Zoro casually tossed him overboard.

Chopper leaned over the rails worriedly until he saw Usopp sputter to the surface, shouting profanities. Then, assured everything would be just fine, he went to making rumble balls.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiratory Capacity: The volume of gas that can be taken into the lungs in a full inhalation

"Okay, Luffy, I need you to take a deep breath for me," Chopper said as he put his stethoscope in his ears.

Luffy nodded, his face screwed with concentration, and it was only too late that Chopper realized his mistake.

"Luffy, no!"

" _Gum Gum Balloon!"_

Chopper bit down on a rumble ball and immediately shifted into Guard Point as his captain's expanding belly threw him across the deck. After rolling around like tumbleweed he managed to get to his feet, shaken but unharmed.

"Was that good enough, Chopper? If you want, I can do it again."

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joint: A point where two bones connect

The battle was over, but Chopper's work had just begun. He found Robin first, the normally unflappable archeologist huddled behind a line of rubble that had once been a brick wall. He rushed towards her, knowing on an instinctual level that she had been hurt even though he couldn't see any obvious injury.

"Someone find a doctor!"

"Doctor, you are the doctor," Robin reminded Chopper as he approached, her arm cradled against her body.

"Right, sorry!" Flustered as he was, Chopper was able to find his first aid kit and assess her with a clinical efficiency that would have made any medical professional envious, though Doctorine would have chided his bedside manner had she noticed him wincing along with his patient. 

"I believe I've dislocated my elbow," Robin said calmly, a faint tremor the only thing belying her pain. "It's happened before. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it puts me at greater risk."

It didn't take Chopper long to confirm her diagnosis. "Wow, you must have fought someone really strong."

Robin's smile was grim. "Not necessarily, I simply was careless." 

As she spoke, Chopper injected her with a local anesthetic. "That should help, but I can't put it back into place here. Let's get you back to the _Sunny_."

"Thank you, Chopper."

There was a genuine note of gratitude in her voice as the medicine did its work, her whole body relaxing as her eyes fluttered closed. There was a time when she never would have shown such vulnerability in front of him, and Chopper wiggled in delight.

"Don't think the praise makes me happy, asshole!"

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyphosis: Curving of the spine, which leads a bowing or rounding of the back. The 'hunchback' appearance

She looked so _tired_. Chopper leaned from his hiding spot, trying to get a better view of the princess. He had never met a princess before, only a king, and Vivi was much kinder than Wapol ever could hope to be.

"Hello, Chopper," she said, gently smiling. He'd never met someone so gentle, either, and her expression alone made him want to melt.

"Um, hello," Chopper ventured, still unsure of how to address a human who was neither his teacher nor his patient.

"You're doing it backwards again," Vivi said, her smile widening. Chopper jumped and reversed himself, but by then it was too late. "Did you need something?"

Chopper swallowed hard, gathering his courage before asking, "What are you doing?" She didn't seem to be doing much of anything besides looking out at the ocean, even though it was dark out and she probably couldn't see.

"Just thinking, that's all," Vivi said.

"Oh. You know, if it gets cold you can come in."

She laughed. "Thank you, Chopper, but I'm fine for now. Thank you for offering."

Chopper nodded and went to rejoin the others. Being a princess must be hard, much harder than being a doctor for the weight of her duty to make her shoulders droop like that. He hoped that they would get to Alabasta quickly and relieve the terrible burden that she was trying to bear alone. Chopper hadn't had friends for very long, but he already realized that he didn't like seeing them in pain.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lichenification: Thickening of the skin caused by chronic irritation resulting from prolonged itching or irritation

Chopper was hard at work experimenting on a new moisturizer for Franky. The poor cyborg's skin was a mess. Half of it wasn't even real, but the areas where artificial flesh met natural skin chafed and rubbed, causing irritation and in some places inflammation. Plus the mechanical inner parts (which Chopper couldn't make head or tail of, much to his chagrin. He was a doctor, damn it, not an engineer!) were slightly cooler than normal body temperature, affecting circulation which in turn slowed the healing process.

Franky didn't complain. Chopper suspected he had gotten used to it years ago. But even if Franky didn't specifically ask for his help, Chopper would still give it. Treating Franky was difficult enough as it was, at least this way Chopper could offer him some comfort for his affliction.

After yet another failed attempt it occurred to him that being a doctor able to cure every disease meant much more than creating a panacea. The human body was much like the Grand Line: mysterious, uncharted, and not fully understood. There was an interesting parallel between his dream and his captain's. If nothing else they were equally impossible. With a rueful smile Chopper reached for a book given to him by one of the doctors in Alabasta, reminded once again just how grateful he was to be a member of the Straw Hat Pirates.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Macrophage: A large phagocytic cell found in stationary form in tissues or as a mobile white blood cell

"So you've never been sick? _Ever_?" Chopper asked in awe.

"Nope," Luffy said, not bothering to stop picking his nose. "It's 'cause I'm too strong!"

Knowing he couldn't properly explain to his captain that _infection did not work that way_ , Chopper sighed. Instead he fell back on the age-old maxim that Doctorine had shoved into his head time and again.

_Idiots don't get sick._


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nitrogen Balance: The amount of nitrogen the body excretes versus how much it takes in. A negative balance is an indicator of malnutrition

Sanji had always been very particular with the Straw Hat's diet. The cook was good at working with Chopper in coming up with a meal plan that would meet whatever nutritional needs the crew was going through at the moment. It was his sacred duty, Sanji claimed, usually before bombarding him with questions garnered from Chopper's medical texts.

After they reunited after their two year separation, however, things got a little out of hand.

"Green smoothies for Nami-swan and Robin-dearest," Sanji said, putting small umbrellas into two tall glasses. "They're a little sweet for Robin's usual taste, but the ratio of kale to fresh fruit will provide a boost of energy after fighting all those shitty fishman."

"Okay," Chopper said.

"And I've made a special dish for those idiot princes. Apparently merpeople don't eat meat, and they'll be needing protein to help recover from their wounds." He made up several heaping plates of a rice dish, never once breaking the flow of concentration. "I've supercharged the peanuts in the rice to help with wound healing, as well as adding garlic to boost immune health. That should be enough...shitty racist fishmen..." Sanji's voice trailed off and his one visible eye flickered to Chopper, a brief moment of uncertainty in his expression. 

"Sanji, I don't know what you're talking about," Chopper said. "I've never heard of food that works that way, but if you say your new recipes will help heal everyone, for goodness sake make it!"


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Osteogenesis: The formation of new bone tissue

Chopper was desperate. Brook was unconscious and suffering from multiple fractures, and he didn't know what to do. How far would Brook's Devil Fruit carry him? How was he supposed to treat a skeleton?

Had Brook been awake, Chopper would have forced him to drink all the milk he could stand. As it was, the doctor didn't want to accidently have Brook aspirate (could he aspirate? He didn't have _lungs!_ ) if he just forced liquids down his throat.

Out of ideas, Chopper grabbed some IV tubing and drilled a small hole in his tibia. He then inserted the line and ran milk as fast as it would flow. If Brook somehow ate and drank like a normal, alive person then there was no reason he couldn't receive intraosseous fluids like one, too. And if normal people would never, ever got milk inserted into their bone marrow, well, that was beside the point.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Palpitation: A strong or irregular heartbeat caused by agitation, illness, or exertion

"Don't!" _Whack!_ "Ever!" _Whack!_ "Do anything!" _Whack, whack!_ "So dumb!" _Whack!_ "Again!"

Nami stopped her beat down of Luffy, panting with exertion. The rubber man peeled himself off of the ground, numerous knots already beginning to rise on his head.

"But Nami!"

 _Whack!_ Back down to the ground he went. "No!" she exclaimed. "Never! I nearly had a frikkin' heart attack because of you, you will never, ever do _that_ again! End of story!" Stomping out of the galley, she nearly pushed a bewildered Sanji to the ground.

Chopper rushed over to look at Luffy's head. He would be fine, thank goodness, his rubber defenses negating most of Nami's power. Pouting, the captain looked at where Nami had been a moment ago.

"What's her problem? I was just having fun."

Chopper knew what was wrong. He heard Nami's heart thudding in her chest when she had heard that Luffy had almost gotten himself killed for the third time today.

"She's just worried about you, that's all."

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quality of Life: General wellbeing, including mental status, stress level, and perceived health status

Brook was ninety years old. That was a long time for anyone, but fifty of those years were spent alone on a boat, with no one but skeletons (real, dead skeletons that couldn't move) for company.

Thinking about it too long made Chopper sick.

"How did you do it?" Chopper asked during one of the rare quiet moments on the ship.

From his piano, Brook paused the slow song he was playing. The musician seemed to know what he was talking about, because his skull took on a strange, pensive look.

"I don't know. I suppose it was just like everything else: One day at a time."

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Restless Leg: A feeling of unease or restlessness in the legs. Might be relieved by moving or walking

"You piece of shit!"

Chopper ducked under the table as Sanji launched himself at Zoro for no good reason. Beside him, Usopp cowered in fear.

"Holy crap, they're really going to kill each other, aren't they?" Usopp asked, his voice wavering. "This is the fourth time today Sanji's attacked Zoro!"

Chopper didn't say anything, putting his entire effort into reinforcing their position, just in case Nami didn't come and break things up and the skirmish got out of hand.

Secretly he wished for the next island to come up soon. It had been over a week since the cook had really gotten to go all out on someone, and Chopper wasn't sure how much more damage the poor ship could take.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scar: Marks created during the healing of damaged skin or tissue

Vivi didn't have any. Zoro's and Luffy's were obvious. Sanji's weren't. Usopp's were invisible without the aid of an x-ray.

Nami's was hidden.

It was masterfully done, her tattoo. Unless you were up close or happened to brush against it you wouldn't know there was a scar underneath it at all. Plus it looked pretty, with Chopper thought was a nice touch.

As the newest Straw Hat, he felt awkward about asking about it. As Nami's new doctor, he felt obligated too. Those muscles were important for arm rotation, after all.

The tattoo might just be vanity, but he didn't think so. There was the way Nami touched it when she thought no one was looking…for some reason it made Chopper feel sad.

Maybe, someday, when he was a little bit braver, he could gather the courage to ask about the story behind the mark that bothered her so.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tinnitus: The perception of sound within the ear without external stimuli

Over half the crew suffered from ringing of the ears. It was to be expected when it seemed like they couldn't go a week without being in close proximity from some explosion or other. Chopper expected Robin had the worst of it; her past history and the nature of her Devil Fruit meant her ears had suffered more damage than the rest.

He couldn't get her to admit it, of course. The one time he had checked her hearing (it never hurt to be thorough) she passed with flying colors. She left his informatory wearing one of her enigmatic smiles and promising to tell him if she noticed any change.

It wasn't until later Chopper realized she could have used her power to cheat. After much thought he decided to let it go. If Robin wanted his help she would ask for it. Until then, he would just have to keep monitoring the situation and make sure she received the best care possible.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Urticaria: Hives

"Sanji's stir-fry was really good," Chopper said. Lazily he pulled on his fishing line, wondering how in the world Luffy had eaten through their entire stock in an afternoon.  "Much better than what Doctorine made."

"It had mushrooms in it. I don't eat that stuff," Usopp said, making a face. "I ate a poison mushroom when I was a kid, and now I hate 'em."

"Oh, no, that's terrible! What happened?"

Usopp's eyes squinted and his lips stuck out in distaste. "It was awful. Nothing like the one time I was nearly assassinated by monkey-men, but I broke out in these red, splotchy patches that itched. It was hard to breathe, too."

"Usopp, that means you were allergic, not that it was poison! You could have died!" Chopper exclaimed. "Why didn't you go to a doctor?"

The sharpshooter shifted uncomfortably. "I…how was I supposed to know?" he asked.

Chopper took a breath to say that his _parents_ should have known, but snapped his mouth closed at the last minute. Usopp didn't have any parents around growing up. 

"That's right, you wouldn't have," Chopper said softly. His eyes misted over as he was reminded of his own experience with poisonous muchrooms, of how he should have known but didn't, and how the man he loved most died for his mistake.

There was a moment of heavy, awkward silence. Then Usopp grinned, his face only slightly strained. "Hey, did I ever tell you about those monkey-men? It's quite a story."

The sharpshooter dove into his tale with gusto. For just that moment they were able to forget the hurts of their troubled pasts and escape to a land where knights prevailed over dragons, good triumphed over evil, and the hero always won.

The Straw Hat Pirates didn't always prevail, they weren't necessarily good, and they certainly weren't heroes, but there was no harm in pretending. Besides, Usopp's stories were their own kind of medicine. Someday Chopper would know how to bottle it up into a balm for broken hearts. As it was, they were a perfect compliment for a lazy day, and Chopper was more than content to just listen.

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vertigo: A sensation of dizziness or abnormal motion resulting from a disorder of the sense of balance

Vivi was a princess, and as such was very contentious of her position. When not infriltrating sercret organizations or allying with pirates she acted with the grace and decorum befitting of her stature. One did not generally find her so drunk she couldn't find her own feet.

However, as Luffy would remind them, all rules were made to be broken and the day after Crocodile's defeat the king hosted a raucous party, predictably ending with a drinking contest between Straw Hats. The result was an extremely happy swordsman and a Royal Palace emptied of any and all alcoholic beverages.

"We did it. Croc'dile's _gone_ ," Vivi slurred, laying flat on her back with an enormous grin on her face. She hiccupped, making Chopper giggle.

"Now iv only th' room would stop spinning."

She would wake up the next day with a terrible hangover for Chopper to treat, but it would be many days before that smile went away.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wheeze: A musical or whistling-like noise heard upon respiration caused by obstruction of the airways

It was a fight he knew he would never win, and Chopper sighed in resignation.

"You should really cut down on the number of cigarettes you smoke," Chopper said, pulling away his stethoscope from Sanji's chest. "They're not good for you."

Sanji's single visible eyebrow cocked up, and a lazy smile spread across his face. "Yeah? And you should cut down on the amount of cotton candy you eat, but you don't see me harping on you."

"True, but…"

"We're _pirates_ , Chopper. What's the point of being a pirate if you can't have a few vices?"

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> X-Ray: A stream of such photons often used for their penetrating power in radiography, radiology, radiotherapy, and scientific research

The micro-fractures made no sense.

Chopper shook as he held up his film. Zoro refused to explain his injuries, leaving the doctor's overactive imagination the task of coming up of a possible explanation. Their fight with Oars shouldn't have hurt him this much, and his injuries from Enies Lobby were mostly healed. Besides, even at their worst they had never been _this_ bad.

Normally Zoro wasn't evasive like this. Normally Zoro was able to give a blow-by-blow account of his battles, meaning Chopper knew exactly where each laceration and contusion came from.

Now…now Chopper was helpless. Zoro was awake, but he wasn't talking. The doctor refused to admit out loud how much this newfound silence hurt. They had a bond, or at least Chopper thought they did. Maybe not, if Zoro couldn't trust him with the truth behind his horrific injuries.

So Chopper sat at his desk, staring at his chart, trying to figure out what in the hell had managed to hurt Zoro so badly.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y Chromosome: The sex chromosome associated with male characteristics in mammals, not seen in females

"I ain't cryin'!" Franky insisted, dabbing a hankie to his cheeks. "It's just my allergies."

Chopper believed in many things: One Piece, Usopp's stories, even the existence of Sniper Island in his heart. He did not - _could not_ \- believe that Franky had allergies. He was not the only one.

"Sure, sure," Sanji agreed good-naturedly. "Whatever you say, big guy."

"Shut up! I'm a man's man! I don't just…cry," Franky snapped.

"What about the time Robin…?" Chopper began, not able to bring himself to finish the question.

"That does not count!" Franky said empathetically. "Not at all. Have either of you guys had your balls squeezed like that? No? Didn't think so. That was totally not cool."

Sanji and Chopper looked at one another, but didn't disagree. Franky had a point.

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeitgeber: Any of the mechanisms in nature that keep the biological clocks synchronized with the environment. Can include mealtimes, sunrise, sunset, ect

"Damn it, is he asleep again?" Sanji growled, kicking Zoro lightly in the ribs. "What the hell?"

Zoro cracked an eyelid. "What?" he asked flatly.

"You're in my space, asshole. Go sleep somewhere else, you big lug."

With a smug grin, Zoro settled against the wall. "Nope, can't. Usopp's doing his ammo, the Sea-Witch has watch—"

"How dare you insult Nami!"

"Franky's doing renovations below deck. This is the only place to nap. Deal with it."

Sanji stomped off, swearing up a storm. Chopper peeked his head from around the swordsman.

"Is he gone?" he asked with a yawn. "Or do we have to move?"

"Don't worry about it buddy. Curly'll wake us up for supper. Just get some rest right now, you've earned it."

"Alright." Chopper snuggled in closer and closed his eyes. He _was_ tired, taking care of the Straw Hat Pirates was hard work.

With a grin, he pulled his hat over his eyes. His friends were all healthy and happy, and that was more than worth the hours of lost sleep. It was a big, wide world full of great and amazing things, and someday he would see them all. Until then, there was no place he would rather be.


End file.
